EPL Matchweek 1 Review

Matchweek 1

If Matchweek 1 is any indication of this season it’s going to be wild.

This season is gonna be WILD after Matchweek 1.

Wow. I don’t think I’ve seen a more crazy opening weekend of Premier League football. First off, FANS ARE BACK. And I think that determined the results for some of these opening games. HOME TEAM ADVANTAGE WILL PLAY A BIG PART IN THE FIRST FEW GAMES. And please hold me to that. With that being said, let’s get into the action starting off with the most convincing wins from matchweek 1.

ARSENAL 0 – BRENTFORD 2

We saw newly-promoted Brentford tear Arsenal a new asshole in front of a packed crowd. Brentford was deprived of watching their team last season in their charge for their first promotion to the top flight. That atmosphere seemed electric and you could feel it through the TV. I

t felt like Arsenal felt the pressure as well.  Ben Shite, I mean Ben White, played awful. Sambi Lokonga looked sharp in midfield but ultimately we relied too heavily on inexperience. Arteta and his bullshit tactics coupled with mediocre players who couldn’t care less ultimately cost us the 3 points.  New year, same old Arsenal.

MANCHESTER UNITED 5 – LEEDS UNITED 1

One of England’s oldest rivalries, and for the first time due to Covid it was played in front of a packed crowd at Old Trafford. Bruno Fernandes opened the scoring, and it looked like the game was over. NEVER COUNT LEEDS OUT, because what followed was a Luke Ayling screamer that flew in top bins all in front of the traveling Leeds supporters. Then, almost immediately after, Pogba (who had 4 assists and played OUT OF HIS MIND) played a defense-splitting ball to youngster Mason Greenwood who finished bottom right with ease to make 2-1. This was the start of a crazy game that saw Fernandes get his hattrick, Fred gets a rare goal, and the 3 points secured. Man United to win the League? Mmmmmmm, NEXT.

SPURS 1 – MANCHESTER CITY 0

What a crazy game. Going into the match there were multiple storylines. Nuno’s first League game in charge of Spurs, Grealish got his first League game in a City shirt, and of course HARRY KANE. Kane for obvious reasons was not included in the Spurs matchday squad, and however, you want to look at the situation it can really only mean one thing, he’s GONE. Tottenham Hotspur Stadium was on fire, the fans seemed up for the occasion, and the players reacted great in their fight to secure the 3 points against defending League champions City who were pretty underwhelming might I add.

When City plays like shit, they look EXACTLY like Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal. Passive, slow in transition and a serious lack of end product were City’s issues this game. In the end, Son’s curling effort separated the two sides in what was a very open game. Were the Spurs fans too much for City to handle? Probably. Did Spurs execute their game plan? Yep. Should City fans be worried? LMAO, Nah.

WATFORD 3 – ASTON VILLA 2

Wow, did NOT see this one coming. Villa strengthened their squad during this summer transfer window and with all the additions they’ve made to build on their fantastic last season, you would feel this game at Watford’s Vicarage Road would be a walk in the park. The Villains were ultimately stung by the Hornets, who played with the home fans on their side. As I said, all these promoted sides were without their fans last season to witness their success so naturally the players were always gonna feed off that energy. Dean Smith, the Villa manager, will be left thinking, “Ok, that sucked. But let’s wait to play at home before fans start to worry” and rightly so.

There were some bright spots for them, I’m sure the traveling Villa fans were excited to see Danny Ings and John McGinn get off to a goalscoring start. Although, they probably weren’t too happy with their new man Emi Buendia and his underwhelming performance in matchweek 1. The Watford hype train will come to a screeching halt at some point, but to their credit, they did put in a top performance that would make former Chairman Elton John fly away on his rocket or whatever. I know, shitty reference. Sorry, not sorry.

OTHER NOTABLE RESULTS in Matchweek 1

Leicester City cruised past Wolves to win 1 Nil. Jamie Vardy, The King of Shithousery, actually howled at the traveling Wolves supporters while celebrating his near-post finish. Classic.

Liverpool silenced the haters in their 3 Nil victory over new boys Norwich City, who were looking to appease their home fans in their latest installment of trying to stay up in the Premier League. Again another side whose fans were deprived of seeing them not only being promoted but winning the trophy as well. Salah, Jota, and Firmino proved to be too much for the Canaries to handle.

Champions League winners Chelsea embarrass Patrick Vieira’s Crystal Palace in a 3 Nil thrashing that saw Christian Pulisic, Marcos Alonso, and academy graduate Trevoh Chalobah (one of the sickest names in world football) all score sick goals. Thomas Tuchel’s men will look to build on this performance by inevitably embarrassing my Arsenal next week. Romelu Lukaku to get his first start/goal that game? Great! (facepalm)

Jack Gotsell’s favorite West Ham, Everton, and Brighton all come back from 1 nil deficits to grab 3 points in Matchweek 1.

All in all, I think we can agree that having fans back in the stadiums makes a HUGE difference and made Matchweek 1 a memorable one for sure. Tune in next week for another action-packed weekend of English Premier League football!

 

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