5. Marcus “The Irish Hand Grenade” Davis
When you add nationality to your nickname, it just doesn’t feel quite right. If you were really from there, you wouldn’t have to say it. It would be superfluous.
Moreover, “Irish” and “hand grenade” aren’t exactly two great tastes that go great together. It kind of illustrates that he was more interested in coming up with something awesome-sounding than celebrating a heritage.
Though, Davis isn’t the only one who does this. The others know who they are.
4.Frank “Twinkle Toes” Trigg
He’s retired now, but his moniker will live on in infamy. It is, after all, his legacy in the sport of MMA. Hughes, St-Pierre, Condit, Lawler, Koscheck, Serra — these are the guys who he’s competed against, losing against all of them. Chances are, the name “Twinkle Toes” tipped them off.
‘Twinkle Toes’ isn’t really a name that’s designed to send chills down an opponent’s spine. It’s what babies do right before they take a nap — and it’s something Trigg loves to do inside the cage. Out of his nine total losses, Trigg has lost four of them by TKO. So getting slept is something he loves to do apparently.
Don’t know how Trigg came up with this one because there is nothing ‘twinkly’ about him at all.
3. Ryan “Darth” Bader
Once again, like with the Pellegrino entry, I understand that Ryan Bader might be a big Star Wars fan. And hey, his last name is one letter away from being Vader, but Ryan Bader is not the fighter I think of when I think of the Sith Lord.
I can only imagine if the real Darth Vader were to see Bader and know of his nickname he would not approve. Hell, Bader would be lucky if Vader didn’t just force choke him and ensure that the man with a better nickname, Anthony “Rumble” Johnson, wins their upcoming fight.
Unless Bader rocks a lightsaber for his next fight, he stays on the list.
2″The Dean Of Mean” Keith Jardine
Take a quick look at Keith Jardine. Does anything about this guy scream ‘Dean’? His facial hair is nasty and out of all the various jobs he’s had over his life (including bounty hunter, miner, and football coach), the dean isn’t one of them.
This name actually brings to mind a common problem with nicknames in MMA. Fighters seem to think that if something rhymes, it’s an instant sell. No, it isn’t. It has potential if it’s a cool rhyme, but just rhyming for the sake of rhyming does nothing for me.
1. Jacob “Christmas” Volkmann
Contrary to what you might think, Volkmann isn’t especially jolly, or an elf, or a noted gift giver, or in any unusual way connected to or interested in the famous holiday that shares his nickname.
No, it’s because he looks like Lloyd Christmas. You know, Jim Carrey’s character from “Dumb and Dumber?”
In a best-case scenario, he’s using the oddest and least-familiar reference for that word. It would be like me calling myself “The African Queen” because I looked like Humphrey Bogart. Because, you know, Humphrey Bogart is the first thing that comes to mind when you say “The African Queen.” Well, that and fighting.
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